Monday, July 12, 2010

so I have this dog….

Long time no post, I know.  I started this post in the beginning of May, and never got back to it. I  made bunches of jewelry in April (for the ECCOTA Gallery), but for various reasons, took pictures of nothing.  My life is pretty scattered right now, and here is an example of how.

So I have this miniature dachshund.  She is nine.   This dog is a giant pain in the ass on paper, but I love her to pieces.  She is admittedly a replacement for the kids I don’t have.  I try not to anthropomorphize her too much, but she does have a lovely sweater collection (she gets cold in the winter) and she has some really cute Halloween costumes.

About four years ago, she injured her back, and had  spinal surgery.  The surgery was an amazing success.  She went from being almost completely paralyzed in her back end, to regaining 90% strength in her hindquarters.  These past four years, I have always accepted, in a back corner of my mind,  that she would probably lose use of her hind legs some day.  A spinal injury is so fickle, she could reinjure it playing too hard, or scar tissue from the incision could cause pressure on the spinal column, you never know.

In early May, she started favoring her back left leg.  I could not find anything wrong with it.  Then I noticed that when she walked, her hind end was less in sync with the front than usual.  Mother’s Day weekend my hubby and I traveled and left her with a dear, dear family, who care for her as if their own.  When we got back she hadn’t deteriorated, but she hadn’t improved.  That next Sunday morning she was the best she been in a while, really wanting to play.  When I came home later that afternoon though, she had gotten worse, now favoring her right side, but the left side wasn’t strong enough to support the entire works.   This means she was dragging  herself around, with that one back leg making feeble attempts to help her scoot.  Well, long story marginally not as long, she is back to normal again, but for a month I was dealing with a dog with so-so bladder control, scooting around, acting like nothing was wrong.  That is taxing on a lady’s energy. 

I am feeling very drained lately.  Not physically, but in my psyche.  I’ve got a couple of things using up my mental energy, and I’m not sure when that will be over.  I made a commissioned piece recently, and thankfully it was based on another piece I had made, or I don’t know what I would have done.  I don’t know if I could have pulled an entire design out of thin air.  I hate feeling like this.  I know it will pass, but I feel guilty when I have an opportunity to be at my bench, but I pass it up with a wan “I don’t feel it”.  It is so lame, but I have learned that when I am in this type of funk, I am much better off riding the wave.  Forcing myself to make stuff usually ends in ugly, tortured metal.  I did sit down this past weekend for a bit.  I had some leftover fine silver rings, and I fashioned them into an acceptable necklace (again, nary a picture).  I am still working on the clasp, but I think there may be a light at the end of this tunnel.

Or, it could just be a train….